Boiling Frogs Beltway Buzz: The Upcoming Bipartisan Congressional Caucus for Prozac

A Caucus to Combat Terrorism, Domestic Violence, Divorce & Job Dissatisfaction via ‘Happiness Pill’

capprozAccording to our inside sources a new Bipartisan Congressional Caucus for Prozac will be launched before the end of the 112th Congress. The primary purpose of the Prozac Caucus will be to raise awareness and advocate for this ‘miracle drug’ aka ‘happiness pill,’ on the grounds of combating homegrown terrorism and domestic violence, lowering the national divorce rate, and increasing the level of general job satisfaction among the restless American workforce. “Increasing the level of general satisfaction and happiness, while decreasing the effects of violence and despair inducing factors such as anxiety and depression, are the major keys to achieving long term national security, family unity, and work force stability. With Prozac we believe we can achieve all that and more,” said a congressional aide who wished to remain anonymous. The caucus will have an interactive website with easy-to-print promotional materials and a password protected section for physicians titled ‘Patriotic Physicians for a Secure America.’

Let’s start with what is a congressional caucus, or at least what it is supposed to be, in theory that is. A congressional caucus is a coalition of House and Senate members who meet to discuss specific legislative priorities and policy issues. Caucuses ‘supposedly’ allow members to discuss issues to determine their positions and make sure their votes are informed. They can also give ‘advocates’ a chance for a group of legislators to champion their cause on the Hill. You may go ahead and change ‘advocates’ to ‘lobby and you’ll be even more on target.

When we look at the long list of these caucuses, a list that initially had only a few but seems to lately  have taken off rapidly, we see some caucuses that seem rather ‘ordinary and expected;’ for example,  Children’s Environmental Health Caucus or Congressional Dairy Farmers Caucus. We also see some ‘amusing’ ones, such as Congressional Bike Caucus, Congressional Soccer Caucus, and Congressional Boating Caucus.

You follow me so far? Okay, then there are more than a few caucuses that are ‘confusing:’ Democratic Israel Working Group, Congressional Israel Allies Caucus, Congressional Friends of Jordan Caucus, and other ones for Turkey, Jordan, etc.  Why do I say ‘confusing’? Well, in the above paragraph we outlined the caucus definition, which includes ‘giving advocates, aka lobbies, a chance to influence, aka lobby, their cause through the members of their caucus. In this case, the advocates, aka lobbies, are foreign, and this means ‘direct foreign influence,’ and that in turn would make the representatives in these caucuses who then influence and lobby the rest of the Congress ‘foreign agents.’ Think of it as two-tiered foreign lobbies: First, the registered foreign lobby influencing the target caucus, then, the caucus acting as a lobby for that foreign lobby to influence and lobby the rest of the Congress.

dronFinally, there are some ‘just plain eyebrow-raising’ caucuses that have been popping up and gaining momentum recently. Probably you haven’t heard of them. Please don’t kick yourself for not knowing. Save that kick, or cancellation of subscription, for the news media you’ve been following. Okay, back to ‘eyebrow-raising’ caucuses. Here is one example:  The Unmanned Aerial Vehicles Caucus, which has recently changed its name to the Unmanned Systems Caucus. Thanks to Corey Pein’s WarisBusiness site I was made aware of this scandalous caucus:

The motivation for members to join the UAV Caucus (not to be confused with the A/V Club) may be national security or job creation, but the caucus is also where members of Congress directly show their allegiance to an industry that donated generously to their war chests.

How much? In the 2010 election cycle alone, UAV-related political-action committees donate more than $1.7 million to the Caucus’ 42 members.

In February 2009, Rep. Buck McKeon (R-CA), at the time the ranking Republican on House Armed Services, co-founded the UAV Caucus. He began to hold meetings on the future of the military systems and by the end of the year he had launched a website–on House servers–for the caucus, which was ostensibly designed to provide news on UAVs and connect members of Congress with the industry.

caucus has served as the Congressional booster for the Association of Unmanned Vehicle Systems International. The UAVSI “Advocacy” page gives am overview of all the ways its members can maximize that relationship;In addition to whatever legislation and appropriations, caucus support has manifested in the opportunity to give committee testimony, visits from Congressmen, keynote speeches, meetings with legislators on “AUVSI DAY,” roundtables, facility tours, but perhaps most notably, a tech fair sponsored by McKeon’s office at the Rayburn House…

We filtered the 200 AUVSI corporate members to only the “Diamond” and “Platinum” members, then further narrowed the list to only those with corporate PACs. A stark picture emerged: Altogether, these PACs accounted for $1,788,800 in contributions in the 2010 to the members of the caucus. This figure doesn’t include members who weren’t reelected, such as AUV Caucus co-founder Rep. Allan Mollahan (D-WV), who was defeated in last year’s Democratic primary. Two of the newest members of the caucus—Rick Berg (R-ND) and Vicky Hartzler (R-MO)—received nothing from these PACs, probably because their incumbent opponents were the defense industry’s favorites.

You can read the rest of Pein’s revelatory piece here, but I think you all get the point on ‘eyebrow-raising’ caucuses. I guess it wasn’t a really long leap from the Unmanned Aerial Vehicles Caucus to the Bipartisan Caucus for Prozac!

The expected chairman of the upcoming caucus who would neither deny nor confirm the formation of the Caucus for Prozac had the following to say (of course on the condition of anonymity):

“Listen, I’ve always taken pride in being a constitutionalist, and the formation of this caucus is further proof…Somewhere in the Constitution it says people should pursue happiness and their government should help them go get it. See? This is exactly what this caucus is about: help and encourage people to get happiness!”

The congressman may have been a bit under the ‘happiness pill’ influence. He must have meant the Declaration of Independence; not the ‘Constitution,’ and, the passage he must have been thinking of was probably this:  ‘All men are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — that to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men…’Oh well, at least they are taking the pill they are anxious to sell others.

The expected co-chairman from the opposite party also commented off the record:

“As a nation we are losing our edge, our competitiveness, in so many areas; manufacturing, R & D, services…even in the Global Happiness Index!! We are America. We must be number one. It is time to declare war on unhappiness! With this caucus we are doing just that: declaring war on unhappiness, and getting competitive on the happiness front. If unhappiness is the enemy, this pill is the weapon to kill it…to quash the damn thing. With this caucus we’ll get Americans to swallow this pill… swallow it big time, and in no time they will rank number one again…at least in the happiness department…”

The expected cochairman was talking about the annual World Happiness Index report on countries. Judging from his hawkish tone and aggressive language, he was either not taking the pill, or, exhibiting one of the known adverse reactions to it. The follow up call to check on this was not returned.

With the new trend taking hold in the formation of congressional caucuses, some refer to them as neo-caucuses, other members are frantically working to stake out new territories and mark their turf. There are many empty caucus spots to grab: The Caucus for McDonalds, The Caucus for the F-35, The Caucus for JP Morgan, The Caucus for Pepsi Cola …So many caucuses to form, so little time!

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Comments

  1. The Zombie pill, when 1/4 of the population has depression maybe there is nothing wrong with them maybe there is something wrong with the environment they live in and we should change THAT instead of changing people internally so chemically so that they can cope with it.

  2. 344thBrother says:

    http://www.ssristories.com/index.php?sort=what

    Warning, 4500 incidents of extreme behavior all fueled by SSRI “Happy pills”.

    I’m happy! I just killed my family!
    I’m happy! I’m OJ Simpson!
    I’m happy! I just shot up Columbine School!
    I’m happy! I’m Cho!
    I’m happy! I just sank my car with my kids strapped into the car seats!
    I’m happy! I just stabbed myself 50 times!
    I’m happy! I just set my home on fire with my kids inside!

    WoooooooHooooooooo!

    Don’t worry! Take your pills! Be happy!
    peace
    d

  3. 344thBrother says:

    Somewhat fff topic:
    If it’s possible to be happy about a story as bad as the Christchurch NZ quake, This makes me happy. Mother nature shaking her back. Beautiful and awesome.

    http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2011/02/22/3146052.htm

    How about that for a segue? 😀

  4. Great post Sibel. You should be read by the nation…. but would they get it? Kinda doubt it.

    If the rest of the world ends up with real democracies as it appears to be headed (maybe)… we’ll be the Hypocracy completely deluded into our American Exceptionalism. hahahahaha

  5. @SanderO: Thank ‘you’! Now I feel a bit better. I don’t know why but for some reason people have been taking every single BFP Beltway Buzz piece literally!! This time I had that additional senetence, ‘SATIRICAL,’ and still! In a way it is funny, and in many ways it is sad:we have dropped THAT low as a nation, so it is perfectly believable to have Viagra/Prozac caucuses in congress, or, to have Thomas Jefferson-Pat Henry on TSA No Fly List, or, Obama running on ‘They made me do it’ platform… What prompted this piece? Corey Pein’s expose, the factual UAV Caucus…and of course what I know about caucuses such as the one for Turkey. And finally, I think it will come, the days of McDonalds, Pfizer, Pepsi, Viagra… caucuses.

  6. Not to be taken seriously: UAVs are the wave of the future. Seen over Sedona, Arizona are black helicopters from a nearby secret military base. Their purpose is the testing of psyops weapons to replace Prozac. At the Benchoic facility in California the Tilt Rotor Osprey was tested to emit emp pulses and shield from backscatter. Further these helipcopters can generate convincing holographs that work in conjunction with GWEN based weapons technology to generate ‘voices in ones head’ . Hence the term well known among former CIA retirees in Sedona, Sedonuts. That is the reason certain areas of the country have frequent sightings of aliens. Another common location for such sightings is the Washington, D.C. Area.

  7. Ya got me…..I’ll give you that one…I took it hook line and sinker…HA!
    (note to self: look for the word “satire” in BFP before getting my boxers in a bunch…)

  8. 344thBrother says:

    Well you got me too.
    I totally missed the satire comment and took off on what I know to be true.

    I was trained as an EMS based Injury Prevention Specialist and have conducted published research into Native American EMS systems and their ability to handle EMS for Children and such issues.

    I actually did about a month worth of research and data crunching on the whole violence and ssri issue. I went through the reports at http://www.ssristories.com/index.php?sort=what and cleaned up the data, threw out the duplicates and the reports that fell outside what I was studying and sharpened up the definitions so that the data could be analyzed. There were 3000 reports at the time, now there are 4500.

    Then I inputted all the data into a spreadsheet and did some number crunching.

    The most shocking fact I teased out is that women who murder their loved ones do so more than 2x more often when they’re taking ssri’s of all types. I also looked at the new drugs vs the old standby’s like prozac. They all had similar curves, ie. Steadily up as more of each drug is introduced into the society.

    And I must emphasize these were crimes of the most heinous and bizarre
    type. Nearly every school shooting event, LOTS of murder suicides, TONS of suicides (many painful beyond belief), and lots of just totally bizarre actions taken by otherwise normal people in what appears to be a waking dream/nightmare state. Many remember nothing about the events after they occur.

    Since this is satire I guess you’re really not interested in this subject Sibel, but if you like, I’d be happy to send you some of the spreadsheets to look at for your own information.

    It’s a real problem. A huge one.

    peace on earth
    d

  9. 344thBrother says:

    Note to self, read the whole article, not just the synopsis that pops up on my facebook page before shooting off mouth with foot inside.

    Good article Sibel!
    p
    me

  10. The vote is only one small aspect of democracy, essential, but if the other elements are not present the vote has no power. Our democracy has been completely corrupted by the influence of money. This is what influences elected officials more than anything else and it influences who ARE the elected officials and who we are given the choices to vote for.

    Add to that the neutering of the presses vital function to inform the people and you have all the conditions which promote everything BUT democratic ideals.

    We have a document which reads well, but has been abused, perverted, ignored and effectively has become nothing but a piece of paper.

    Rights and equal justice are little more and quaint notions on some pieces of paper.

    We are approaching or perhaps have passed the point of no return. Obama promised to change things but he was like most politicians lying and pandering for votes from the people. He shafted the people. The lurch to the far right has left the people with no choices and despondent at their options as the rug is pulled out from them.

    We’re heading for AmRev V2. When the people have nothing left to lose and haven given all they have or have had it taken from them, they will given their lives in a last attempt to save the future.

    Stay tuned… and walk like an Eqyptian.

  11. As the Army war games future wars against the urban poor, robotic weapons systems turn Asimov’s 3 Laws of Robotics on their heads. Meanwhile Prozac is given out to all and sundry whie Marijuana, the only REAL anti-anxiety medication, remains illegal. While the Muslim world rises up against it, the Shock Doctrine is implemented with increasing speed here at home. The new Class Enemies of the Oligarchy, Teachers and public employees and their Unions. The police are exempted for the time being until they have served their purpose, then they will be replaced by mercenary thugs like the ones Qaddaffi has hired. As US troops are used to secure resources for the Chinese in Iraq and Afghanistan, the cloak of US “Freedom” is shown to be increasingly threadbare.

    And, in the middle of all this, I finally start my new job on the 7th in the second-most obscene city on the planet, Las Vegas, NV.(Dubai is the MOST obscene city on the planet). Well, as I always say,

    “Those who still have Faith in the System have yet to ecperience it fully.”

  12. many a true word spoken in jest Sibel. And, given contemplation of the hundreds of thousands of innocent souls murdered by these quantum freaks, exampled lately by Frields schizoid “It Never Happened/Those conversations didn’t exist” Sharsar testimony,[Honest. We are the good guys]
    and the explicitly stated EXPLOSIVE 911inside job as reported by high level CIA asset Susan Lindauer [EXTREME PREJUDICE],
    A pill might be a very good idea.
    We could call it the Cass Sunstein cure-all for Crippled Epistemology®
    Take 14 per day with unhealthy amounts of liquor and hope you don’t wake up Oliver North can organize distribution.

    aside, though. what of this thread?
    Kingfisher Says:@3dayscondor,
    ‘The judge who got killed during the Gifford’s shooting last month?
    Ok, I have to hear this; are you are saying he was assassinated by nefarious forces, or something along those lines? If so: why, how, and by whom? Please do tell.These were the same people who ejected Ray McGovern from the speech?KF’

    To which
    3dayscondor replied:

    To Kingfisher,
    Yes, sir, as far as the CIA is concerned, it is all about the DRUGS and the MONEY……..Look at Judge Rolls’ last case;
    United States of America,
    Plaintiff vs $333,520 in United States Currency; 2007
    Saturn Aura XE, VIN 1G8ZS57N97F136757
    I figured when I posted this somebody would step up…
    The name “Kingfisher” is one of several things, a character from Amos n Andy, a bird, or someone FISHING for info…..Hmm

    ‘fess up you two. Any more on this?

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