Boiling Frogs Beltway Buzz: Obama Administration’s Left-Over Al Qaeda Card


Never Before Exposed Plan ‘C’: Al Qaeda v. Debt-Ceiling, Next Bailouts & Hefty CEO Bonuses


obamaIn a recently leaked report the Obama Administration’s never-came-into-play contingency plan, referred to as ‘Plan C’, points to the Al Qaeda threat and the War on Terror as major reasons for raising the debt ceiling, refraining from any cut in defense and intelligence-related government expenditures, facilitating and approving future financial institutions bailouts, and avoidance of pursuing accountability for the massive bonuses paid to executives of bailed-out financial institutions.

Plan C was prepared by Obama’s White House advisors and staff, during the time that Congress was preparing their Plan B, as a last-resort wild-card maneuver to play the never- before-failed Al Qaeda Card. Although some consider the report moot and no longer of any significance, others are alarmed by the possible implications of this contingency plan as the preferred method of choice in future presidential-congressional dances involving a wide range of issues,  including  even pharmaceutical and environmental laws and regulations.

Boiling Frogs Post obtained the report prior to the deal reached by the White House and Congress on August 2. However, as a responsible news organization, BFP refrained from publishing the report until now in order to protect our national security interests in the face of the never-waning and ever-increasing Al Qaeda threat targeting our government, major mega institutions, and perhaps even insignificant and ordinary citizens. We believe we have fulfilled our journalistic obligation to our government and mega institutions by observing this grace period by sitting on the story, and now are ready to present some of the highlights of the Obama administration’s not-used but saved to-be-used-later Plan C.

Plan C emphasizes the urgent need to raise the debt ceiling in order to meet the increase in government spending on the to-be-expanded War on Terror against Al Qaeda overseas and domestically:

We are a nation at war. We are a nation involved in several wars. We are a nation intent upon getting involved in even more wars; nationally and internationally. We call it our global and domestic ‘War on Terror.’ These wars are fought to defeat Al Qaeda around the globe and within our borders. Not raising the debt ceiling would cut funding for our current wars and planned future wars, since spending money we don’t have is the only way to pay for these wars and more wars. Thus, not raising the debt ceiling would result in handing Al Qaeda terrorists our defeat. For Congress not to raise the debt ceiling is to side with terrorists; is to aid Al Qaeda. We have analyses by our legal scholars who argue that not raising the debt ceiling can actually be considered an act of terrorism; whether direct or indirect, providing aid and support to Al Qaeda terrorists is an act of terrorism.

aigIn the Plan C proposal the administration provides several studies on and analyses of the ‘American Way of Life;’ what it really means today, and how the inevitable future bailouts of financial institutions are necessary to preserve and maintain this way of life:

It is a known fact that Al Qaeda hates our way of life; our previous President himself has eloquently stated so. Our corrupt financial institutions have become an inseparable part of life in America. These corrupt financial institutions are woven into the fabric of life here in the United States of America. Thus, to let these corrupt financial institutions collapse is to fulfill Al Qaeda’s objective; is to help Al Qaeda win. Is this really what Congress wishes to do? To side with Al Qaeda and let them destroy our way of life? Because to not facilitate or approve soon-to-come additional bailouts of these corrupt institutions is to fulfill Al Qaeda’s wish: to Destroy the American Way of Life. Thus, raising the debt ceiling without really capping federal government spending, including its ability to keep bailing out our corrupt financial institutions is to stand for the American way of life. You, the Congress, are either with us and our way of life, or against us and with them – the terrorists…

Obama’s Plan C also includes a persuasive argument against any congressional investigations into or pursuit of accountability against any of the financial industry executives who generously helped themselves to hundreds of millions of dollars in compensations taken out of government bailout packages, either past or future. This argument also heavily relies on Al Qaeda related risk evaluations:

We know that ambitiously crooked executives helped themselves to outrageous sums that came right out of generous government bailout packages to the banking industry. Yes, we are talking CEO’s taking home hundreds of millions of dollars in ‘bonuses.’ We expect to have additional bailouts in the near future, and with those, we expect to see the same CEO robbery trend happening again and again. It is a fact of life today; a fact of the American way of life. We understand public pressure to do something about this mega thievery, but we urge you not to give in. These executives are more privy to our nation’s sensitive secrets than even our high-level intelligence executives. We cannot isolate them. We cannot turn them away. Think about their value to the terrorists we are at war with – the Al Qaeda. Can we take a chance on even the slightest possibility of these executives playing for the other side? We smoke and chase them out, and the other side, the Al Qaeda, may welcome them with open arms. We consider these executives valuable potential recruits for the terrorists – the Al Qaeda. And we cannot take a chance. And we are asking you not to take that chance…

In the end, the Obama administration’s Al-Qaeda wild card, Plan C, was not needed in settling the debt ceiling crisis in the duel with Congress. However, the Al Qaeda wild-card outline was saved, and is being refined further. No one knows when it may come to play in full force. Will it be during the next expenditure cut duel? Will it be on the next humongous black budget item in need of congressional approval? Will it be during the next wave of corruption charges against defense, financial or intelligence industry entities? No one knows, but many expect it to come, and some with certainty. So please stay tuned.

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*This article is part of Boiling Frogs Beltway Buzz Satire series.


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Comments

  1. Sad to say I almost can’t see any satire in this.

  2. But, this was pretty funny:

    “However, as a responsible news organization, BFP refrained from publishing the report until now in order to protect our national security interests in the face of the never-waning and ever-increasing Al Qaeda threat targeting our government, major mega institutions, and perhaps even insignificant and ordinary citizens. We believe we have fulfilled our journalistic obligation to our government and mega institutions by observing this grace period by sitting on the story”

  3. http://www.rys2sense.com/anti-neocons/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=25924 President Ogga Booga pulls the Obey me or crisis card again.

    “Obama “if you don’t “come to a deal” aka do what I say, the moon will turn to blood, and monsters will rise from the sea. billionaires need more bonuses damn it, I need to spend more money that isn’t mine” -Obama short for Ooogabooga”

  4. This may be satire, but to me it is entirely plausible that this administration – or the next – would pull something like this. Both parties will support this. It seems like “al Quaeda” is being stretched to include everyone on the face of the earth except those sociopaths in charge of “our” gov’t and, of course, the big banks and corporations.

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